Reflections

One of the writing prompts we are using at our writers’ group is ‘reflections’.

I like to think I spend the right amount of time reflecting on things.

It’s always good to look at what you’ve done, consider what you’d do differently, how it could be made better.

I don’t over-do it, but I do do it.

As part of the bigger picture, I often wonder what can be shared that can be classed as ‘wisdom’. What, if anything, have I learned through reflection that can be seen as the dreaded ‘wisdom’ by someone else.

What is ‘wisdom’?

Apart from one of those words that sounds nonsensical as soon as you say it a few times?

I think that question is one for another day.

Anyway, where was I… oh yes…

Reflections.

As I amble in to my Autumnal years, I can’t help feeling that I’ve figured something out, something big, something fundamental.

It’s taken me some time, but I get it now.

Money isn’t the root of all evil, greed is.

Greed.

As in, ‘an inordinate or insatiable longing for unneeded excess, especially for excess of wealth, status, or power.’

There’s nothing wrong with ambition. Nothing wrong with money. It’s greed that’s the evil at work everywhere I look.

What causes greed? Is it that the excess is a form of validation for those suffering from it?

Can we do anything about it?

Well, surprisingly, yes we can!

We can stop looking up to people who are greedy. We can stop using them as role-models. We can make it clear that we are not impressed by their greed and what it ‘accomplishes’.

We can make those in power aware that we are not going to support the greedy excesses of corporations, people or any organisations.

We have some control.

I’m not talking about ambition, drive, dedication or the desire for money. I’m talking about greed.

We have to take back some control of how we view and treat the greedy. We have to make it clear that we believe there is such a thing as ‘enough’.

Greed is eating away at all cultures. Once it gets its claws in, it changes everything for the worse.

And of course, greed is really about control.

Contagious

I’m sure we have all heard the saying, ‘anger is an energy.’

All emotions are.

With anger though the feeling of it being an energy is very immediate. Feeling it can cause us to do stuff, it energises us to action.

A lot of the time this action is not very well thought through. We just ‘do it’, driven by the anger, spur of the moment stuff. Thought comes later.

Being angry is a natural reaction to many things. The thing that angers us may move on, perhaps immediately or perhaps sometimes later, but we carry that anger with us and a quick way to diminish it, to escape from some if not all of it, is to pass it on.

We react angrily and we let some of it go.

Some people can be angry and not behave like this, they can absorb the anger, internalise it and then get it to evaporate through their deeper-nature. These people are scarce. I’m certainly not one of them.

Or rather I’m not most of the time.

As we get older we become more aware of the controls we have on our thoughts and behaviour.

We can take some control through that awareness. In my finer moments I can simply acknowledge things that make me feel angry or other negative emotions, and absorb them to be melted away in the subconscious and applied reasoning of my accumulated wisdom.

Smart eh!?

Sometimes. But not always. OK, it’s rare.

If there is an emotion that I want to spread in the world it certainly isn’t anger. To control my own thoughts and actions to reflect this is the goal. It’s not always the reality. And there are good ways to get angry, like reacting to a threat that can harm us or the ones we love.

Thinking about what energy I do want to be contagious, what I do want to spread in the world, is a tough one.

I’m not a woolly-minded hippy with visions of world-peace and love spreading from one simple act of kindness. But I do believe that every action that increases the happiness in the world also goes some way to reducing all negative emotions.

That’s actually pretty happyish, yeah, you got me there.

But none-the-less, that’s what I think and how I want to act.

At the end of any given year, thoughts turn to the coming year. We think about change. We reflect on the past. We have a focus on change and our part in it.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all understand each other a bit better? If we could show a desire to increase understanding of difference as a positive thing? Wouldn’t it be great if we could all show less anger?

We all know it would.

We all know it’s a challenge that will sometimes defeat us.

But we all also know that shouldn’t stop us from trying.

Be happy. Make others happy.

We Are Teachers

Most of us can think of a favourite Teacher we’ve had.

It might have been at school, at college or Uni. It might have been a mentor at work or a tutor on a course we’ve taken.

We liked them because they were knowledgeable, able to help us learn and were keen about getting us involved.

There were other reasons, maybe one, maybe many, but I suspect the core of why we liked them was that they engaged us and made us feel empowered.

They made us feel like we could do it, we could learn stuff, that it was a pleasure to learn, that we were being enriched.

We came away feeling empowered and enthused.

At the time we may not have thought about it like that. We probably just enjoyed it, felt that we were doing well and enjoyed that feeling.

There is a lot of stuff that goes to give someone credibility. And good teachers always have it.

It’s hard to analyse why they were successful in making us feel good about ourselves and what we were learning. We just felt it. When we look back on the experience, we feel it.

They engaged with us, made us feel empowered, made us feel their enthusiasm and commitment to sharing their knowledge.

Well here’s the thing… We are all teachers to someone.

Sometimes it’s a formal setting, or if not formal then at least a setting where there is an expectation, where we know we have a chance to help others learn.

Sometimes it sneaks up on us, we realise in the moment that we are teaching someone something. And sometimes it comes back to us in a flash of memory, we see what we did, realise that we were acting as a teacher.

Do we enjoy teaching things? Do we have the confidence to do it? The desire?

Can we acknowledge that sometimes we are asked to be a teacher and we need to step-up?

Credibility can only come from our honesty. We cannot decide we are credible for someone else, they decide that for themselves, so if they have decided it, don’t question and over-analyse – step one is done.

What we can do is make sure we are engaging with people who look to us as a teacher, that we think about what they need and want, what we can offer and give. We have to listen and engage.

We have to be enthusiastic.

Most importantly we have to empower people. We have to encourage them, allow them to grow for themselves with what they know and want to learn. We have to be positive, supporting and encouraging. We have to be.

So when there is an opportunity to be the teacher – embrace it!

Be prepared for it and embrace it.

The Pressure of Time

We all have limited time.

In so many ways and in one ultimate sense.

I read once that all art, all creativity, is a response to the understanding that we are all going to die.

If we were immortal, there would be no art, creativity would die.

The thinking behind it being that we would always have time to do it. There would always be more time. We could always put it off, do it tomorrow, or whenever.

Simplistic and perhaps total BS, but it does convey the idea that we all feel the pressure of time in some way and we all react to it differently.

We all live our lives as if we are going to live forever.

We all realise we are not.

We all have a desire to make the most of the time we have, in every sense.

We all do that in different ways.

Being creative to a deadline is fantastic.

The most important thing it teaches us is that things will have to be as good as they are when the deadline hits, then we have to let them be, let them go.

With no deadline, we are tempted to tinker, to make it better, to chase perfection rather than let something be as perfect as it can be when it’s time to let it go.

Can we ever be aware of the greater deadline?

Is this something that we can use to drive us in our creative endeavours?

Can we turn the pressure of time to our advantage?

Yes. Yes we can.

Our energy for each thing we create has a natural cut-off point. That point where we feel we are just tinkering, adding the whistles and bells to make it more than it was ever meant to be.

Most creativity uses a craft as well as artistic inspiration, and of course we want to use all our skill and experience to make sure we have something that is as good as it can be in the sense of the craft.

Artistically, we can realise the idea and then it’s done.

The challenge of the pressure of time often defeats me. And it’s usually because I don’t want something I’ve created to be perceived as anything less than the best it could be.

But the best it could be at the time is what I should be focusing on.

I’m rubbish at self-imposed deadlines.

I need to work on my awareness of the pressure of time.

With the things you create, how can you turn the pressure of time in to a positive thing?

F.U.P.

I wrote this about the Black Dog.

Kind of tumbled out, bit angry but also hopeful.

F.U.P.

I turned around and there it was,

Lurking in the shadows behind me,

Awaiting its chance to suck me dry,

This fucking useless parasite.

 

Only it never does,

It won’t kill the host.

That’s not how it works,

Won’t fulfil its need,

Take enough,

But never too much,

Reap and sow,

Plant the seed.

 

I turned my back and on it came,

From out of the darkness within me,

Been waiting for a chance to watch me die,

This fucking useless parasite.

 

Only I never do,

And it never can,

That’s not how it works,

Don’t feel the need,

Given enough,

At times too much,

Reaped what I sowed,

Planted the seed.

 

I turned a corner and found it there,

Waiting in ambush for me,

A chance for me to immortalise,

This fucking useless parasite.

 

Only I know it now,

It’s not what it seems,

That’s not how it works,

I don’t have a need,

Bled out too much,

Nothing to show,

No place for the seed,

To hide and grow.

 

I turned it over and watched it die,

Helpless in the open,

Destroyed by the light,

This fucking useless parasite.

Mojo Working

Being creative is a desire, a passion, an urge, something that has to be done.

It relies on an energy that is inside every one of us.

It is expressed in different ways by different people.

Everyone who expresses themselves is drawing on different experiences and perspective.

When we feel good about ourselves and the world around us, we express it.

When we feel bad about ourselves and the world around us, guess what… we express it.

Sometimes I feel drowned by the world around me, put-upon by all the shite in the world, especially the injustices perpetrated by people in power.

My kind friends tell me it’s because I have an empathy with those affected, and this often includes me, so not sure how that works…

My unkind, and some would say ‘honest’ friends, tell me I’m just a wuss that needs to put things in perspective and get on with it.

‘But’, I whine, ‘creativity doesn’t work like that. Not for me.’

It’s hard to say exactly how it does work: analysing it has never worked out for the best.

But I know when it’s not working.

I know when my mojo aint workin’.

Being connected to the world via social-media seems to be a big drain.

There’s no news like bad news for getting ratings, so most of what’s churned out is bad news.

People affected pass it on and warn others, and so it (rightly) spreads.

It would seem there is such a weight of sadness, badness and intent to do harm in the world that we may suffocate under it.

Looking for the good, staying positive, clearing our minds to allow our inner… blah-blah-blah right?

There is good out there (and in there!) and it is easy to find. It just sometimes struggles to be heard over the cacophony of shite in the world.

Anyone who has a creative urge, who produces something and sends it out in to the world, I urge you: do it for good. Use your superpowers for good!

When we are made aware of bad stuff, let’s be aware in the ‘so what are we gonna do about it’ kind of way.

I know it’s tough. I know it’s mostly easier said than done. But it can be done and it must be done.

Be creative.

Get that mojo working.

Share your stuff. Get it out there.

Stay positive. Stay the superhero that you are!

Talk-Talk

What’s that old saying? ‘Talk is cheap.’

Talk is of course essential, well, communication is.

But sometimes words are just words – they have no intent when they are spoken and we can take no meaning from them as they signal no action.

I listen to a lot of pointless, empty words and it makes we wonder how the people speaking them don’t see how the people hearing them know they are hollow.

Talk is essential. Just keep talking.

Action is also essential – do something.

We can talk all we want but ultimately we are defined by our actions.

The horror of LV hit me as hard as all mass-shootings do. I always feel a dread, a malaise settle on me in the aftermath. A depression that people can accept such hollow platitudes from their ‘leaders’. That those leaders can continue to stuff their pockets with money from ‘interested parties’ and simply do nothing.

It makes me feel embarrassed as a human being.

Anyway.

Words…

WORDS

 

Words, words, we use them all.

Just sounds in the emptiness,

floating into open ears, and empty heads.

 

Meaningless noises meant to say

what can’t be told,

used to break up people like silence.

 

Words provoke images, demand recognition,

leave feelings of moments,

lived and thought forgotten.

 

A collection of lines that

are to be used like tools,

fall apart without doing their job.

 

Words, words, we abuse them all.

Just sounds in the emptiness,

floating into open ears, and empty heads.

 

Words of wisdom,

words of wonder,

roll around

my head like thunder.

 

Words like flowers,

fall like rain,

no escape

causing me pain.

 

Words that shine,

deeds will eclipse,

wasted words

fall from my lips.

 

Words can soften,

careless actions,

turn away

fear of rejection.

 

Words of wisdom,

hold me in wonder,

cannot break

the spell I’m under.

 

Words we use

sometimes we say what we

think

words we use

sometimes say what

we mean

words we

use

never say what

we’re feeling.

 

Words sound

useless to say

anything we really

mean

think

what we say

when we say

we never say

what we feel.

 

Words just words

written and spoken

useless little noises

useless little scribbles.

 

Words can kill

the things we

feel

can hurt

the ones we love

can make

us think

we have said

something

when we have

said nothing.

 

Words become

the things we mean,

or they become

meaningless.

 

Words become

the things we fear,

or they become

frightening.

 

Words become

a means to an end,

or they fail,

becoming wasted.

 

Using words,

we betray our feelings,

from deep inside us,

exposing our needs.

 

Using words,

to say what we think,

without someone listening

nothing is said.

 

Words become

useless,

using words,

meaningless

words.

Poetry Day

Is it ‘national poetry day’ or something?

Did I miss it?

Anyway…

Here’s a short one wot I wrote:

 

Mirror Mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

I know you’re blind but see it all.

Why can’t you tell me all you see,

What other people make of me?

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

Either you’re too low, or I’m too tall.

We Saw Trees

I really like trees.

There is much in this world to be inspired by and trees always do it for me.

The fact that we seem determined to consign them to memory makes me sad.

But I understand why we do it.

Here’s a brief piece (101 words) on that:

I saw the trees, I watch them fall.

I clear the ground to plant the grain.

I feed the habit of millions and starve the world.

We want what we don’t need and need what we destroy.

I am a facilitator just trying to earn a living.

Just trying to feed my family.

You pay me to destroy both our worlds so you can live in yours and I in mine.

There is nothing between us.

We cannot go back so we carry on.

We stand together past the point of no return.

You saw the trees, you watch them fall.